Now, with Dee having replaced Lyttleton owing to a similar audible reluctance to be there in the chair the only threat to the show might be an increase in censorship, which could lead to Samantha and others being fingered by Radio 4 bosses. to the best of my recollection. m. madrigal. Dear I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Mailing List Member. The five funniest games from I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Hilarious, embarrassing, and bizarre challenges set by the chairman, Jack Dee. . Reaction to BBC Radio Comedy is incredibly subjective, but I'm afraid I found tonight's episode (kicking off a new run) pretty feeble. But, at 12.52 on a Thursday afternoon, a Radio 4 punchline landed the most taboo word in broadcasting using Clues signature trick of blue-chip filth where the rudeness isnt visible on the script, but is made audible in the delivery. Can you tell me where the expression 'Dull as Ditch Water' comes from? After he did a few of the stage tours, he started to sing in tune, which rather spoiled the effect. ", "This round is all about the ancient art of communication. 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners ", "Backing will be provided, as ever, by Colin Sell at the piano. His job was to read it. ", "While Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris", Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. It would have been more, but the chain kept falling off his bike. The manageress at Dorothy Perkin's says if she catches him in there again, she'll call the police. Fortunately, this changed over the years, with the introduction of regular female guests including Victoria Wood (who had been identified as a future mainstay before she died at 62). That went off. 70. Even now the authorities regularly uncover unstable cases carrying decaying material which have to be handled with the greatest of care. Together they form a body of work stretching across five decades, from Cambridge in 1960 to today's world-beating Antidote to Panel Games, a laughter-bringer . Following reports that BBC Radio 4 considered toning down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue because of complaints over the smutty jokes, here are some of the show's dirty innuendos from four years of broadcasting. Humph was famous for his delivery of deadpan double entendres on his radio show I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. Let's meet the teams. ", "Leeds galleries and museums may contain countless priceless artefacts, but keen-eyed visitors may also find here certain curiosities of no financial value, remnants from a bye-gone age guaranteed to kill half an hour. Yes never mind all that, Sir, blow into this please, Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?. ", "Dear Mrs McCartney: My, what a terrible mess. He really should use a stronger denture fixative if he's going to blow that hard. ", "I am assured that piano accompaniment is required for this round, and it appears that Colin Sell is unexpectedly available to provide it. Ballykissangel. 105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners He is key to the 50-year-old round One Song to the Tune of Another, whose highlights include performances such as Rob Brydon singing the theme from Spider-Man to Bring Him Home from Les Misrables, and the heroic tone-deafness of Jeremy Hardy. After Naismith selected a dozen from the archives, he had eight notes from management on things that had to be cut, and Im pleased to say I successfully disputed all but one. The unfortunate demise of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, William Caxton invents the Printing Press, Sir Walter Raleigh presents tobacco and potatoes at the court of Elizabeth I, Oedipus Rex blinds himself after marrying his mother, Jocasta, Joseph and his Amazingly Technicolor Entrecote, It seems to me I've heard this song beef-, If you like it, you should have put an electronic tag on it, If you liked it, you should've put a wheelclamp on it, If you liked it, you should have put herring on it, Cheese Eaten Too Close To Bedtime On Elm Street, The Long Way Round, Avoiding The River Kwai, Bring Me Someone Who Knows Alfredo Garcia, Four Engagement Parties and a Bloke Who Doesn't Feel Very Well, Let's Hope Nobody Comes and Snatches These Bodies. Its an approach that has captured in the shows single most celebrated one-liner. But we wouldnt get the repeat fees., 50 Years Without a Clue is on Radio 4 and BBC Sounds on 16 April at 8p. Let me introduce four of them. From the moment Humph took the two small envelopes containing the scripts printed on postcards, the words became his. Which we thought was incredibly unfair, as no one else had ever complained. To calm things down, she had to keep them apart all morning." Incidentally, we were all surprised to hear that Colin has recently been standing in for Oasis. Indeed, he often said he wanted to drive between gigs in a tradesman's van with "Humphrey Lyttelton: Purveyor of Blue-Chip Filth" written on its sides. Childhood - young gangster. Just imagine, it's a sunny Monday night in December in lovely Brighton, the cast of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue are singing one song out of tune to another, while Colin Sell has a disagreement with a grand piano. 50 football jokes to make you laugh or groan Introduced as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. Some definitions from the Radio 4 Sorry I Haven't A Clue radio show : Abacus - Swedish swear word. After 30 minutes, the doleful host declared that the first show had come to a merciful end. ", "We call the next game Word for Word; it's a word game. I like to ring them up, and play the sound of running water down the phone., Ive had my run-ins with booze; its well documented. Sit down, Madam." The main difference was that, as a panel game, they didn't need to write any . Apparently he has this dream of handling The Spice Girls. ", "Actually, we're all very excited for Colin, as he's been invited to play at a U-2 gigwhat great reunion dances those German submarine crews have. We could therefore, if required, defend the material, in that it could only appear filthy to someone with a dirty mind - so what were they complaining about? With news of a part he's been holding for her. again, so he's had to come on his bike. Because then you can say, if you think thats dirty, thats your mind not our words.. This wasn't an act - he really couldn't have cared less. This worried Henry VIII, who sent a heavily armed force immediately he heard the town was being terrorised by the Beverley sisters. Each show is hosted in a particular town around the UK and includes an introduction with trivia-based-jokes about the host town. Sun 19 Oct 2008 19.01 EDT. Perhaps encouraging complaints about schoolboy humour was the fact that despite the early inclusion of Jo Kendall the stand-out panellists were for a long time blokes. English Various radio episodes of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue from 1999-2004 with extra special programmes including " Humph Biography " and " Humphrey Lyttleton Tribute " which remembered the chairman of the programme after his death. ", "Colin Sell is at the piano, and with exciting career news - he tells me that he's recently started to work with pop sensation Bjork, so now he's making regular trips to Iceland or if they're shut, he goes to Bejams. Lazy cow hasnt even taken her milk in for a fortnight!, Try saying: Whale Oil Beef Hooked without sounding like an Irish man swearing., One of my friends went on a murder weekend now he is doing life for it., A sewage farm. ", "Well with Mickey Mouse's big hand pointing upwards and Goofy's tail pointing downwards, I realise my Rolex is a fake. I wish theyd take my advice and run their trains on time with enough seats on them for all the poor bastards whove bought tickets from them., Dear Guinness Book of World Records: I have a collection of six Guinness Book of World Records. Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her. 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes "Dear Mr. Duggleby, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why does my typewriter always stick on the letter 'Y'? Here, concluding our. n 11 April 1972 at 12.25pm, between a You and Yours discussion on Whats new in playground equipment and a World at One report on Labour party turmoil over the Common Market referendum, BBC. With Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor, Stephen Fry, Jack Dee and Rob Brydon deputise as chairman of the antidote to panel games. They put a uniform on, for a job like that, can you imagine doing that? 30 of Romesh Ranganathans funniest jokes and quotes During the pandemic lockdowns, Clue was included in an emergency list of shows chosen by the then director general, Tony Hall, to cheer people up. One of the series other crucial personnel is Colin Sell the resident pianist since being recruited as a student in 1975. P.S. brightondome.org. ", "While Samantha nips out to enjoy a portion of local winkles in cider", "So as Samantha heads off to the Highland games to admire the contestants in the caber competition, and perhaps have a go at tossing one or two herself", "So while Samantha nips out to nibble on her favourite bit of Leicester", "Samantha has just started keeping bees, and already has three dozen or so. 'Risky, rude, brilliantly written and superbly performed' The Judges, Sony Radio Academy Award This second treasury contains over 30 hilarious editions of the awar d-winning 'antidote to panel games', first published as I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Volumes 1 0 to 15, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue . He would delight in stopping, mid-performance, to announce that when he was supposed to say "genteel", for example, the script said "gentile". ", "Welcome to ISIHAC where fun and laughter get on like a mouse on fire. With Jeremy, the reason he was so bad was that he had never sung in public. ", "It's well documented in official records that the City's original name was 'Snottingham', or 'Home of Snots', but when the Normans came, they couldn't pronounce the letter 'S', so decreed the town be called 'Nottingham' or the 'Home of Notts'. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration. Something wrong there. Did anyone say Mornington Crescent? " the man who put the C into rap music Colin Sell! He had no future comedy career to worry about. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration. On 11 April 1972 at 12.25pm, between a You and Yours discussion on Whats new in playground equipment and a World at One report on Labour party turmoil over the Common Market referendum, BBC Radio 4 launched a comedy game show. I was aware, when I started Clue, that it was a case of: Wed better get some women on, but there was no sense of making me feel unwelcome or awkward. Delight - make things go darker. . I think the Clue boys were quite pleased to have fresh people in.. 45 of the funniest 8 out of 10 Cats jokes Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-taylor, Jack Dee Et Al, As the Honourable Member is perfectly aware, I have nothing to hide, Censors were appalled by Carry On films and wanted to give many X rated certificates, new files reveal, What Sean Connery will do if he doesnt get to church on Sunday, Australian for a Englishman made of stone, Cross between a screw top and a ring pull, How they describe a decade in the West Country, A boat makers first attempt at a coracle, A person who turns into a house at the Full Moon, A setting on Jonathan Rosss washing machine. . He became quite frail towards the end and it was obvious he was frustrated by his own body giving up on him. You can use it for sandwiches all through January. , updated 19 of the funniest World Cup jokes from stand-up comedians For many years it was hosted by the jazz trumpeter Humphrey Lyttleton. Born in Farnborough, Hampshire, in 1961, Hardy gained recognition on the comedy circuit in the. ", "Musical accompaniment will be provided in this round at the piano by Colin Sell. 41 of Stewart Francis most ingenious jokes and one-liners Winter: the season when we try to keep . Mrs. Sell says it's the only thing that gets him up in the morning. All quotes are by Humphrey Lyttelton unless otherwise stated. Chairs - toast by the Queen. 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes 38 of the funniest Ron Swanson quotes that made Parks and Recreation unmissable Posted on May 31, 2014 by ablestmage. . Clued up Im Sorry I Havent a Clue historic innuendo star Stephen Fry, chair Jack Dee and late-lamented regular Victoria Wood. ", "While Samantha nips out to enjoy a mouthful of Jacob's", "Samantha has just returned from congratulating a local builder friend who successfully bid for a contract this week. 20:57 EDT 23 Sep 2012 "When I'm Cleaning Windows" to the tune of "Walking in the Air" (Graeme Garden) 33. During that dispute, the issue of low pay was also raised. "Buffet" is a French word that means "get up and get it yourself.". Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her. 87 ratings5 reviews I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is the most listened to comedy programme on British radio. The teams suggest movie titles that might have preceded some of our best-loved classics of entertainment: We would strongly recommend hiring a car You are 103 miles from the nearest lavatory, Plenty of nightlife Watch out for the cockroaches, Stones throw from the beach Mick Jagger once vomited from the top balcony. In the modern world this is known as the Daily Mail. It preserves the soul from desiccation. No radio show has aided that cause greater than Im Sorry I Havent A Clue, the much-loved panel show that Lyttelton (right) chaired until his death four years ago. But there was a later communication that his wife and family were upset and would the BBC calm us down a bit. 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners (Humphrey Lyttleton's final joke on the show, recorded shortly before his death in April 2008), "You'll be accompanied by Colin Sell on the piano. Then he pointed up to the circle and said: "I was only joking. ", "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell. 25 of Dara Briains best jokes and funniest quotes 38 of the most darkly funny League of Gentlemen quotes Across the 50 years, the series has only twice seemed close to ending. Suddenly, we had all these people people listening over the shows, says Naismith. The comedian was a stalwart on BBC Radio 4's popular panel game 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue'. Your new spectacles have arrived and are ready for collection. Most centred around his assistant and scorer, the ever-delightful Samantha. Are these jokes too smutty for Radio 4? During his silent, solitary pre-show read-through in a dingy corner of the theatre, I would occasionally spot him scribbling notes when he discovered a typo or a grammatical error. Is this the Guinness Book of World Records record for Guinness Book of World Records? ", "Well, it's time to meet the teams and I can honestly say you couldn't ask for four better comedians. It consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. 31 Richard Madeley quotes, gaffes and surreal moments that prove he truly is Alan Partridge They're going on a driving tour of Wales. "Dear Rolf, Here's a handy hint: When you put the cat out, always use a high-quality fire extinguisher.". Someone in middle management says: Im not so sure about this line, then someone else isnt sure, either.. . Racing the express train from London, he won by a full eleven minutes. One of the first women to, as the show might put it, hold her own was Jan Ravens. More than once, between tears of helpless laughter, the producer and I asked each other: "Can we actually broadcast that?". ", "Actually, we were all very impressed to learn that Colin once played alongside Roy Orbison. Yours etcetera, Dear Leonardo da Vinci, Scrub the sitting Ive got to go to the dentist. Hardy rose to prominence in the 1980s, winning the. Such was the transformation from the words I'd cobbled up into the masterful performance provided by this octogenarian, Old Etonian trumpet-player, I could collapse with laughter along with the rest of the audience, as if I'd never heard my own words before. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue is just a small part of BBC Radio 4's long proud history of gentle comedy with added smut. Stephen Frys Countryside joke was first aired on 13 April 2002, not on 4 February 2010; and Lionel Blair didnt host Give Us a Clue, but was a team captain. We think your paintings are extremely promising. Humphrey Lyttelton chairs the perennial antidote to panel games, The antidote to panel games. Im not interested anyway. To claim that Humph didn't know what he was doing on Clue is, of course, complete nonsense. But then the BBC got in touch with Jon Naismith, remembers Sell, and said emails were flooding in from listeners who needed it back.. Born in 1972, it was something of a continuation of the Sketch Show I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again (which was also the origin of Monty Python's Flying Circus and The Goodies). I could hear the cheeky glint in his eye. 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After the success of our 'not for broadcast' Theatre Tours in 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 (all sell-outs), we're returning with a special fundraising edition of the show for the charity ENRYCH, whose stated aim is to enrich the lives of disabled adults. Yours in haste, Mrs. Trellis, Dear Mr. Duggleby, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why does my typewriter always stick on the letter Y? 100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny) ", "Accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell at the piano. 26 of Stewart Lees most gloriously acerbic jokes Dear Herr Hitler, Sorry for taking a while to get back to you. Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue's funniest definitions to make you smile this Christmas Credit: Shutterstock The tongue-in-cheek take on the English language was introduced on Radio. ", "Now listeners will be surprised to hear that pop legend Cliff Richard once insisted that Colin played in The Shadows but then, he's not a pretty sight in broad daylight. Save. Since its inception 'Clue' has seen its success blossom from the impish son of 'I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again' to the big daddy of all panel games. This houses a fine collection of vintage aircraft including the Vickers Boxkite biplane, which one Bert Hinkler flew here in 1921. Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis, Dear Womans Hour: Why waste money on baby-naming books when all the names you need can be found in the telephone directory? Veteran comedian and unflinching miseryguts Jack Dee is set to embark on his first stand-up tour for six years. One running joke (usually by Graeme Garden) is the appearance of Mr and Mrs Bennett- (Long phrase of exclamation relevant to the subject) and their son Gordon, the joke being that this is an easy cop-out (e.g., at the Builders . It reads: "When I heard Colin Sell playing the mouth organ, I rushed in just in time to catch his set. And then the Anthony Worrell-Thompson sausages. Which is why I havent., The other night, this salesman phoned up and started banging on and on about buying car insurance. Tweet us @TeleTweetures with your thoughts. While the shows inventive innuendo is one of its great attractions for fans, the jokes are considered too rude or sexist for some. Eventually we had to call Barrys son to call Barrys wife and tell him to put his headphones back on., Having got through a pandemic, the show may yet survive, in some form, an even greater global catastrophe. When I am asked how a comedy writer is inspired to write new jokes every week, there is a pat answer: I get up and sit down at my computer with a cup of strong coffee. Rounds included team members being required to sing Three Blind Mice to the tune of Old Man River; other challenges included improvising rhyming lines. To order a copy for 15.99 (incl p&p) call 0843 382 0000. ", "This week we can promise you a nail-biting contest followed by a nose-picking contest. P.S. I'm pretty sure you have a perfect understanding cos your post makes absolute sense and we all recognise Corporal big ears Normie and Bomber wing ears Normie. This is a very popular programme with Theosophists. They continue until the Chairman blows his horn. There can be no greater compliment to the performance of a script than for the audience to fail to notice there is one. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Complete JokesHosted by Humphrey Lyttelton and featuring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Jeremy Hardy.ISIHAClu. Approaching what would have been his 87th birthday, he told an audience in Eastbourne: "It makes a nice change to be one of the youngest people in the room.". 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. a lamppost, Et tu. You must be kicking yourself. Here, concluding our series to mark the programmes 40th anniversary, are more of its most gloriously groan-worthy moments. Yes, Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into. The chairman, jazz trumpeter Humphrey Lyttelton, was an unusual choice, and he seemed appalled by the format, testily setting the length of one contest at two minutes, or as long as I can stand it. Highlights from recent series of the perennial antidote to panel games. A revered stand-up comedian, Hardy was also a hit on Radio 4 panel shows such as The News Quiz and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. "Samantha has been working down in the gramophone library today, where the archivists have been engaged in a heated argument about who sits at which desk to get the best view of Samantha's shapely legs. 41 of the funniest quotes from The Good Place about life and death Before Chairman Humph, panel games had been chaired by nice chaps (and they invariably were chaps) who hoped we'd all enjoy the show as much they were going to enjoy delighting each other with their wit and wisdom. "Dear Mr Titchmarsh: This morning I went out to dig up some dandelions and a giant hogweed on my lawn. Producers Paul Mayhew-Archer (1982-86) and Jon Naismith showrunner since 1991 are generally credited with making Clue a super-format by introducing tight scripts that were a trampoline for ad-libs. It's easy to understand why this change was resisted so fiercely by the people of Scunthorpe. Clue also survived the technical challenge of lockdown recordings on Zoom. For info . . But that was not long before he died [in 2021].. Lyttelton's Britain: A User's Guide to the British Isles As Heard On BBC Radio's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, by Iain Pattinson, is published by Preface. 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes Clued out former long-serving panellists Barry Cryer and Willie Rushton. Jack Dee chairs the 75th series of the show. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, do you know, not once has she come round to see if Im all right. Do hope you havent embarked on another career. Best father of the bride jokes for a wedding speech to remember From George W. Bush: Yo Blair You got it wrong. New voices Pippa Evans is now a regular on the show. He was a great comedian not just on Clue but also on The Goodies and many other shows on TV and radio. ", "This musical lament will be accompanied by Colin Selland music doesn't come more lamentable than that. While being mocked by the others for his age and incompetence at trying to read a tricky retake, he stopped, gazed to the side for a moment, squinted, and asked: "Has the man in the end bed died?" 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